| Location | Blackpool |
| Age | 0 |
| Cause of Death | Miscarriage |
| Date of Birth | 12/06/2008 |
| Date of Death | 12/06/2008 |
| Visitors | 2,619 since 27/10/2008 |
| Creator | |
| Helpers |
my much loved and very much wanted baby tarik grew wings and flew to heaven after only 14 weeks with me , not long some may think but it was long enough for me to love him eternally, he will always be a part of me forever, and ill miss him for always!!!! he has left an empty space in our family and everyone wishes he was still here , sleep well my tiny precious little man , mummy loves you so much xxxxxxxxxxx This is Tariks story... i went for my scan on the 12 june, i was 14 weeks pregnant, i was excited to see my baby for the first time. i arrived at hospital and after waiting a short while i was called in, i lay on the couch and waited for the image to come on the screen.. then i heard the worst words ever.. im sorry wendy but i cant find a heartbeat ,im afraid your baby has died.. i was just in total shock. how could my much wanted baby just die ?? all i could think of was what would i tell the kids ? i was absolutly gutted. i was given a picture of him but i didnt dare look just yet. i was told to go home and phone back in the morning to arrange what to do next. i came home in a daze...my baby had gone..just gone.. when i got home i went to my room and opened the envelope with the scan pic in, what i saw took my breathe away.. he was beautiful, just beautiful i broke down then and just couldnt stop crying. the next few days passed in a blur, i had to go in on tues for a d.c and it was only thursday how was i gonna carry my dead baby around for 5 more days. but somehow i did and it kind of felt nice to keep him with me for a bit longer. The day before we took down his cot and put his tiny clothes away, i was so very very sad i thought my heart would break. although id only been pregnant a little while i loved this little boy with all my heart and soul.. i decide to call him Tarik. Tarik was supposed to be a nik name for him but now it seemed to feel right so he will always be known as baby Tarik... on the day of the op i arrived at the hospital, i was surprisingly calm as i was shown to my bed, i knew when i woke my baby would be gone forever.. when i got home i was numb, didnt know how to feel, everyone just seemed to get on with life but i felt mine had stopped, i felt so empty and alone in my grief.. the main thing that kept me going was my little boy Kai, he was only 15 months and he needed me to be as normal as possible.. he was and still is the light of my life.. A few weeks later i got the results back and the reason Tarik died was because my placenta had tumours on it and now i would have to be carefully monitored to make sure it didnt spread to me.. the next few months were very worrying and stressful i was told not to get pregnant for at least a year...a whole year i was devastated.. I had nothing to remember my baby by except a scan picture which i treasured.. i made a memory box and put a few things in there with some poems and stuff. I still miss my baby boy so so much and wish with all my heart he was here today, but losing him has made me a better person, he made me realize how precious life is. i will love you eternally baby Tarik and i will never forget about you no matter what..sleep tight my baby angel...love always mummy xxx
HAPPY 3RD BiRTHDAY TARiK
hope u have a lovely birthday today little tiny man, wish you were still here so much, give nana a big hug from me , miss u both so much..love and kisses from mummy xxx
HOW CAN THEY UNDERSTAND ?
Dear little man, hope ur happy in your heavenly nursery, its coming up to ur 3rd birthday soon, where has the time gone? i often imagine what it would be like if things had been different baby boy, people just dont mention you no more, like u never was but i know you was, honestly people can not possibly understand how it feels to lose a much wanted baby unless they have been through it themselves and even then its different for everyone, suppose it mostly depends how much that child was wanted, and my darling baby boy you was SO SO wanted...i think of you always and what could of been ! never ever think your not loved or remembered little man because i will never forget what it felt to lose you, the pain eases a lot with time but a song or a certain smell can tranform me back there in an instant :o( be happy little man and never forget ur always my son , love always mummy xxx
xx DEAR LORD xx
Dear Lord, i would have loved to have got the chance to sit my little boy on my lap and tell him all about you, but i never got the chance, so will you sit him on your lap and instead tell my little boy about me!
xx nearly 3yrs xx
hi my tiny man, its coming up to 3yrs since the day we found out you"d left us. i cant believe how fast the time has flown by, i imagine you being here sometimes, running around gettin into mischeif with the others, i even know what you look like, so beautiful with blonde hair and blue eyes. i miss u so much Tarik and always will xxxx be happy baby boy xxxx
always and forever xxx
hi little tiny man, someone asked me today do i still think of you, my tiny little boy not a day goes by that i dont think of you and what could of been, im so sorry i couldnt keep you safe, hope your happy in heavens nursery, love you always and forever baby Tarik Rolfe xxxx
XXX HAPPY EASTER XXX
Happy Easter baby boy, wish so much that u were here with us...love you always mummy xxx
how do you ?
How do you love a person
Who never got to be,
Or try again to see a face
You never got to see?
How do you mourn the death of one
Who never got to live,
When there's nothing to feel good about
And nothing to forgive?
I love you, little Baby.
You're a person of the wind,
Free to be the memory
Of all that might have been.
I love you, little Baby,
My companion of the night,
Wandering through my lonely hours,
Beautiful and bright.
What does it mean to die before
You ever can be born,
To live the lovely night of life
And never see the dawn?
Ah! My little Baby,
You lived like anyone!
Life's a burst of joy and pain,
And then, like yours, it's done.
I love you, little Baby,
Just as if you'd lived for years.
No more, no less, I think of you,
The angel of my tears. xxx sleep tight tiny man xxx
MY FOREVER CHILD XX
We never had the chance to play, to laugh, to rock, to wiggle.
We long to hold you, touch you now And listen to you giggle.
I'll always be your mother. He'll always be your dad.
You will always be our child, The child we never had.
But now you're gone.. but yet you're here. We'll sense you everywhere.
You are our sorrow and our joy. There's love in every tear.
Just know our love goes deep and strong We'll forget you never.
The child we had, but never had, And yet will have forever. xxx miss u Tarik x
miss u Tarik x
Yes it is true that I never got to see all that this world holds.
The flowers, the trees, grass - or a bright sunny day.
Not even the smiling faces of my loving family.
But in my heart I have seen all of these things, even in my short time.
It is also true that I never got to feel the many things that you take for granted ...
The heat on my face on a hot summer's day,
Finger paints and crayons I will never hold in my hands.
But I did feel the loving arms of my Mummy and Daddy cradling me gently.
I never got to hear all the sounds that make most hearts sing,
The laughter of a loved one, or the sweet song of a bird,
Songs on the radio and the words "I love you" are to me a mystery.
But the soft touch of my Mummy and Daddy's hands shouts to me all of this and more.
I will never know the joy of running through a field of flowers,
Never will I roll down the side of a hill, too dizzy to stand.
Hide and seek, tag and catching ball I will have missed,
But in my mind I will do all of these things and more.
You all may see it as me missing out on all these things by leaving you so soon,
But where I am going I will do, see and hear everything you do and more.
I will only think of good things - for in my short existence that is all I have known.
So don't cry for me, I will do all that you have wished for me and more.
One thing I want you to hold on to is that I have not known how to hate, how to feel jealous, or anguish or any of those emotions that can eat away at your soul.
My soul is set free with only one feeling - for in my short time here with you I only knew love.
And that is what I take with me now.
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